lazy summer days

beautiful lex and jo

clare and jo love to eat applesauce with cinnamon

 clare is such a beautiful little person, inside and out. I love her!

 learned to lick a bowl like daddy.

 One day we did a family puppet show one day. We don't leave the house a lot in the summer (for details as to why we don't leave, see the Calvin blog) and we were so bored. Making puppets was great. It took the kids a long time to make them and then plan out what they wanted to do.

 love my little jojo

my little helpers making home made pizza. As you can see the dough is gone but they are playing in the flour.

This is what we call future blackmail material.

1st day of school

1st day of school for my little beauties.  Aug 21, 2013

Clare - 2nd grade and Lexey - Kindergarten. Love them.

Jo is sad to have them go. "Where lexey" "where bear bear?"

Calvin is enjoying a quieter house for another week and a half until he goes back to school.

Denise is happy the girls are happy.  Denise also notes the Calvin would have started 5th grade. It is hard to believe how far he is fallen and how it is impossible to imagine him going to 5th grade. Sad.

yesterday was great

Dave took a personal day yesterday to come to the fair hearing regarding Calvin's eligibility for regional center services.  This is the first personal day he has taken while on clinical service. (he had swine flu a few years ago and took some days off but I think that would count as a sick day).  He called his co-worker Chiazo to tell her about it and she put herself on call for the night. He had to call her back and say, "I am not coming in all day - you will need to round at my hospital and cover the cases."

In the early morning Dave and I got up and got ready for the day, showers and nice clothes for the hearing. The kids got up and I got the girls ready for first day of school. So fun!

Dave and Calvin took off around 7:30 to go meet Dr. Marshall, our expert witness, a neurosurgeon Dave works with. (Former chair of the department. Possibly the most cited expert on traumatic brain injury, which applies to epilepsy since epilepsy causes brain injury). Anyway, we wanted to be sure Dr. Marshall met Calvin before the trial so Dave went out to his house to discuss the records and to allow Dr. Marshall to interview and examine Calvin.

I took the girls to school and then dropped off Jo at Jessicas where we also met Pete who was watching Calvin.  As a side, let me mention that being gone for less than 8 hours creates a huge amount of stress and work trying to line up babysitters for 4 kids. (esp. when one is Calvin who cannot go with just anybody). We are thankful to all of our kid helpers. Both girls went home with friends after school.

The trial started at 10am.  It lasted until about 2:45pm.  I would like to just talk about a few great things. Maybe another full report will come at another time.

  #1. We were VERY well prepared. At the end of the day the opposing "team" said they have never seen a family so well prepared. I give my dad 100% credit for the fact that we were prepared.  We were supposed to have the trial July 10th. Around July 4th I showed my dad the packet of paperwork from the regional center and he told me that I should prepare a presentation including extra witnesses and make a professional presentation if this was something I cared about. We asked for a continuance and got the date of Aug 21st.  I also give credit to my two lawyer brothers for helping me compile paperwork and allowing me to talk about this hearing non-stop for 6 weeks.

#2. The judge was a very nice guy and was genuinely interested in understanding the case, the details of Calvin's medical information, etc.  he asked additional questions to every witness trying to get information. I was a little worried that it would not be a "Fair" hearing, but we felt that it was.

#3. The opposing counsel, about and hour into the hearing interrupted what was going on and said to Dave, "I know you! You were on the team of Dr's that helped my wife when she broke her neck. Thank you for saving my wife's life."  This comment was on the record in the middle of testimony. Later, off the record Dave talked a little to the counsel to ask how his wife was doing and try to remember the patient of about 4 years ago.  The counsel did not ask a single hostile question to any of our witnesses. I do not know if that is normal or not but we definitely felt that perhaps had warmer feelings toward us than he might for the average case. Of note, opposing counsel did not know much about our case at all and was mostly there help with formal presentation of case. He had obviously not studied the file. That might be the reason why he had no questions for us as well. Personally, I think it would appear to be pretty poor form to haggle parents of disabled kids who are crying, begging and pleading for help so I am not sure that they would ever be very hostile. Who knows. In any case, we were blessed to not suffer through any hostile questioning.

#4.  Nobody on their side had met Calvin or seen his MRI (which became a topic of debate).  nobody on their side really reviewed the records carefully either. The psychologist said he did, but when I started questioning him he had to look through the records to find answers and it took him a long time to find what he needed. He absolutely didn't know the records as he claimed to. At one point in his testimony he said even though he didn't' meet Calvin he pretty much knew him from how carefully he reviewed the records numerous times. Um, lie. He was totally caught in that lie and his counsel was shaking his head listening to him talk b/c it was so ridiculous.

#5. Being married to a neurosurgeon is awesome. (see #3.) and because there was no possibility of their team mis-construing the medical information with Dave there to rebut their comments.  I actually feel I am very knowledgeable of Calvin's medical information and knew more than anyone on their side about Calvin's disease but the fact that Dave is a neurosurgeon makes him a second "expert witness" so his testimony is considered expert. Nice.

#6. Our witnesses were great.  Paula Clifford - church/personal, Jen Swope - director of Calvin's school, Dr. Marshall -expert medical witness, Dave and myself. My dad attended for moral support and to drop a few lines of help here and there.

After the trial since we hadn't had anything to eat or drink we stopped for lunch on the way home. 3:30 is a great time to do lunch. No wait and lunch prices.  We shared an entree, salad and dessert.  We were in and out in 30 minutes. It was good to unwind a bit after such a big event. It was kind of like taking a big test where you prepare and prepare and stress and then all of a sudden it is over.

Anyway, we gathered up the kids and went home to spend the afternoon. It was nice to have Dave home all evening with us. He is rarely home before kids go to bed these days so it was a treat. He went swimming with them all, including Jo who loved it. We did our father's blessings for school starting FHE, we put the kids to bed and watched 1/2 of a movie (still gotta get up early for work)!   He also took Lexey out for a slurpee for a daddy/daughter date. A jam packed daddy day! The kids were so happy!

All in all a great day.  So nice to have a day with Dave home all day. Dave went back to work this morning and says the 10 days to the judges decision will fly by!

We feel very blessed and are so thankful for everyone who prayed for us and also for those who helped us prepare for the hearing and of course those who came to testify.  No matter the outcome we are glad that we had a smooth trial and that we feel everything was fair and that we were able to do our best. We hope the judge will find that the law rules in Calvin's favor. It is certainly our interpretation of the law that Calvin is eligible for services.

What are services at the regional center?
Basically, they would take on Calvin as a client and provide all medical, dental and other care he needs. Kids like Calvin and those more seriously disabled, require a lot of care and need trained professionals to help with behavior therapy, provide respite care for parents, training for parents and family, etc. etc. Regional center would arrange and pay for all of these things.  We wouldn't pay any more medical bills for Calvin or co-pays for medication. This would be a nice perk, but mostly we need the behavior support which we simply cannot afford out of pocket as it would be 10-20K/year.

happy hump day Elder Dahlquist

Love this. So thankful for a lady in Dan's ward who emailed a picture of him for us to enjoy

This is Dan with his new comp - fresh out of the MTC and 18 years old.


Love this little note Clare made for Dan on hump day!

busy

I am busy and stressed. I spend all my spare time doing one of two things.

#1.  Helping dave get interviews ready.   Dave is super busy. He checks his email once  a day at the end of his work day but then often doesn't have time to sit down and reply except once a week. That was not working for scheduling interviews since more quick correspondence was needed. I took over his emails for interviews and got letters sent out and made sure all applications were complete. Each location wanted their own application completed rather than using a central system so it is kind of a pain.

 So far we have this scheduled:

Sept 16- Seattle
Sept 19 - Boston
Oct 8-9 Memphis
Oct 10 - Phillly
Oct 21-23 CNS in San Francisco
Oct 24-25 Toronto
Nov 13- Houston

(all at Children's Hospitals in those cities)

Still waiting on LA and Baltimore to pick dates

I was hoping to get more of the east coast ones clustered but of course (philly, boston and toronoto) all interview on TH so I couldn't do that. I'm still holding out hope that baltimore will be on the friday following boston or philly.


We have to pay for all the flights (boy they are more expensive than I remember them being)... and about 1/2 the hotels + all of the ground transportation. Is it wishful thinking to hope we can get away with $5,000 total cost? I hope not.



#2.  Preparing for the fair hearing regarding Calvin's admission to the Regional Center. The hearing is Wed. Wed is also the first day of school so it will be a big day. I got a lot of paperwork togther and still have a near panic attack when I think that I  might have missed something!  I prepared opening statement and testimony for myself along with questions for witnesses (medical, school and personal). Big thanks to my dad and brothers who helped tons. I never knew I would be so thankful to have lawyers in the family!  :)


Will post pics and other updates after this week.


For my RS lesson Sunday I loved this talk by Elder Nelson.  You really need to click on the video and see the 80's hair and dresses of the tabernacle choir ladies sitting behind him. Awesome.

Favorite quote from the talk:
The second requisite I have classified as focus. Imagine, if you will, a pair of powerful binoculars. Two separate optical systems are joined together with a gear to focus two independent images into one three-dimensional view. To apply this analogy, let the scene on the left side of your binoculars represent your perception of your task. Let the picture on the right side represent the Lord’s perspective of your task—the portion of His plan He has entrusted to you. Now, connect your system to His. By mental adjustment, fuse your focus. Something wonderful happens. Your vision and His are now the same. You have developed an “eye single to the glory of God” (D&C 4:5; see also Morm. 8:15). With that perspective, look upward—above and beyond mundane things about you. The Lord said, “Look unto me in every thought” (D&C 6:36). That special vision will also help clarify your wishes when they may be a bit fuzzy and out of focus with God’s hopes for your divine destiny. Indeed, the precise challenge you regard now as “impossible” may be the very refinement you need, in His eye.

getting ready

I'm getting ready to start a new school year and planning how the morning and evening routines will be.  I also happen to be planning a RS lesson for this week which is helping me get my thoughts in order. The two tasks go hand in hand. Here's a great quote from Elder Ballard:

So what can we do to not become lost? First, may I suggest that weprioritize. Put everything you do outside the home in subjection to and in support of what happens inside your home. Remember President Harold B. Lee’s counsel that “the most important … work you will ever do will be within the walls of your own homes” (Teachings of Presidents of the Church: Harold B. Lee [2000], 134) and President David O. McKay’s timeless “No other success can compensate for failure in the home” (quoted from J. E. McCulloch, Home: The Savior of Civilization [1924], 42; in Conference Report, Apr. 1935, 116).

Organize your personal lives to provide time for prayer and scriptures and family activity. Give your children responsibilities in the home that will teach them how to work. Teach them that living the gospel will lead them away from the filth, promiscuity, and violence of the Internet, media, and video games. They will not be lost, and they will be prepared to handle responsibility when it is thrust upon them.

funny moment

Today Calvin, Clare, Lex and I were out in the living room hanging out while Jo was in her room napping. (Jo's room is still my closet and her bed is the pack-n-play.) While we were standing around Jo came walking out of her room ALL BY HERSELF!  We all saw her and started laughing. She had just woken up and was kinda groggy still but once she caught on that we were excited about her, she was smiling and proud of herself. It was her first time coming out of bed by herself. She is a cutie!

I am planning on moving her downstairs into her own room once the kids start school in a few weeks. Hopefully she won't be too mischievous in crawling out of her bed and getting into trouble at night!  She really loves sleep and often asks to be put to bed so I not too worried.

Jo continues to sleep with lots of little animals and blankets. She for sure takes two or more "mimis" and a blanket or two or, her bird puppet, a baby or two and a teddy bear or two. Sometimes after she goes to sleep I'll go in and take things out of her bed so she has more room.

Jo got croup recently. It was my first time having a kid with croup. She woke up one night about 1:30 crying and she had a loud barky cough and was wheezing pretty bad. It was kinda scary. She calmed down in my arms and slept in my lap for an hour or so. Then I took her to bed with me so I could be close. She was a little warm so I also gave her some tylenol.  She slept on an off for the night. around 5-6am she was pretty warm so I gave her more tylenol and stuck her in her own bed to sleep for a bit and she did rest well for a few hours.  I took her to the dr. the next day and he gave her a liquid steroid to help with her inflammation in her throat. (He said when he examined her he could hear whistling sound in her throat). During the day she had a normal cold. Night two she woke up and cried a bit in the night but wasn't as bad as the night before. By night 3 she slept fine.  The cold lasted a full week but it wasn't anything unusual or more severe than a usual cold.  Kind of a weird sickness. It is strange how it is just a normal cold during the day and then at night turns into a severe cough and trouble breathing.

randoms at our house

I came home from book club one night and found Calvin in Clare's bed.  I asked Clare why she didn't kick him out and she said he wouldn't leave. I asked Clare why she didn't ask Dave for help and she said she didn't know. Clare is a sweet girl. (they are not naked but the kids all sleep in underwear only for the summer)

 

We have watched this HUGE tree get cut down directly across the street from our house. It took a team of 4-6 guys a full week to get it chopped down. This pic is taken the day they were working at the tippity top of the tree. I can't imagine that job. So scary! The tree was huge and beautiful but apparently leaning a little too much towards the house and not thought to be safe.

Tressel likes sleeping with Lexey now. He is quite a bed hog.

Dave has a standing deal in the house that if someone catches a lizard he will take them to the nickel arcade. HE made this arrangement hoping the kids would spend more time outside chasing lizards but instead they wait 'til one gets in the house and catch it.  I am not sure why we've had two lizards in our house this week. Anyway, Calvin picked up the lizard and then it crawled up his sleeve and onto his back

 .. then crawled across his shirt to his front....

 then it crawled back to his back ..

 

 ... then back to his front. He was trying to catch it the entire time but couldn't see it and couldn't move fast enough.  He was very sweet and calm about it. If it had been one of the girls, oh goodness it would have raised the roof with all the screaming and carrying on!

Clare tried to catch it with this bey blade ring but it just crawled right off.

 Dave wanted to be sure to let jo pet the lizard (she did).

 Eventually Lex found some disposable gloves and picked it up and put it into a Tupperware Clare got. (Note: clare did not touch the lizard with or without gloves! but did help by getting the tupperware

Calvin took the lizard outside to let it go. 

 

 

 

Looks like Dave will have to take them all to nickel city.

 

(Yay for a couple of hours to myself one day! )



final post of s/l/a visit

We went to the Mormon Batallion. It is a great visitors center. Alexey was the willing and excited volunteer to dress up like soldier.

cutest little soldier I've ever seen

 

We wandered around old town. We ate lunch in old town and by a stroke of extremely bad luck ate disgusting Mexican food. There are lots of restaurants down in old town and most are really good somehow we found iky food.

 

I took some pics of Scott and Abbey at various scenic locations in Torrey Pines and LaJolla.

 

The kids wanted in on the photo fun!

Group hug from uncle scott

doggie pile!

This was the most fun sight ... jo chasing the sea gull. It doesn't get more adorable than this!

taking a picture of taking a picture