good news: October 2015

One of the great things about pen pals, is it allows you to write a lot (which most of the time I just say on the phone) and gives me a great record of life.

Here's our life update:

Dave - LOVES his job! In fact, he loves it so much it's almost not fair that his work is so fun. I'm glad he's happy at work. It's such a nice contrast after last year when work was miserable. He has MUCH easier hours and uses his extra time to play scrabble and ride his new mountain bike (which he bought for himself as a graduation gift). He rides really hard and has taken a few hard spills which leave him beat up on his arms and legs. It is kind of crazy but I much prefer it to his road bike where if he were hit by a car he'd most likely die. Things have been slow to start at work so I think his schedule may eventually pick up a bit but it will never be completely crazy. He's on call about 1/2 of the days each month but there is a resident and fellow on call so they field all the calls and then only call him when absolutely necessary and that doesn't happen very often. It's nice to have him home for dinner more often and just generally around more. Lexey said, "I love that we see Dad more now. It's great to have Dad home." Last year she said, "Dad might as well be dead. We never see him." (she is very dramatic)

Calvin - is back at his old school which is good. He is happy there. I'm glad he's back in school. It was such a long summer. It's always a struggle with him. Overall he is much better than he was 4 years ago but we still have nothing like a normal home life with him in the picture. He is now 12 and a 1/2. Since he is old enough to leave home and can call or text me while I'm out, it is easier to take the girls to their activities without him feeling forced to tag along. Of course I don't leave him a long time but he really enjoys the chance to have some quiet time and watch TV on his own. He does karate at school and enjoys that. He is still a huge pain. I'm trying to find boys/young men to help me out. I recently called Sharon Tengberg (Van is Bishop in the singles ward here) to see if they have anyone who can help out. Our ward doesn't have anyone right now that is working well. He has not been happy about his bus time of 7:55 and I have driven him to school all but 1 day so far. Wastes a lot of time and gas.

Clare - Beautiful 4th grader. Avid reader-I can't keep up with her. This summer she read all the Harry Potter books over and over. She loves them and enjoys being a Harry Potter expert! She is SUPER happy to be back in school and got a really nice teacher. This year all three girls signed up for dance (much to dave's dismay) and Clare is taking Jazz. I'm not sure dance is going to be her thing but she was able to sign up with her best friend and it's good exercise and experience for them. She is a very responsible student and super happy to be back in public school.

Alexey - still my easiest overall. Perhaps tied with Jo for that title. Lex is happy, spunky, energetic. She is doing hip hop* for her dance class. It's hysterical. She is quite a little hoot at piano. She tells the piano teacher "Piano wastes my day" but secretly loves it! It's interesting raising these girls. They are all so smart and great but in different ways. It is fun to watch. Lexey is also happy to be back at public school and doing well. Lexey loves her free time to play with her sisters and her only complaints involve when she doesn't have enough free time.

*edit to add. After doing a few weeks of hip hop Lexey told me that it is too loud so she decided to try a couple of other classes. She tried jazz and tap and liked jazz best. She is in a class for K-2 graders which will be on the easy side for her but since she is new to dance, that is fine. Plus she doesn't like when things are too hard. She gets frustrated. Clare is in a class for 3-5 graders.

Jo - Last year at home! We're doing a great little preschool swap as we have in years past. 6 kids- 5 girls and a boy. Great kids and wonderful moms. T/TH 9:30-noon. She is a fun little companion for me when she's home. She loves to chat, she can entertain herself while I get stuff done, she loves to help out with Meyer. She has really grown up a lot. With a July birthday I was wondering if maybe she wouldn't be ready for K next year but now I have no doubt she'll be ready to start a year from now.

Denise - This has surprisingly been a tough transition for me. I'm not sure why. of course, having our house a mess and all the emotional turmoil that has gone with it was definitely a big bummer over the last two months. When I write up that whole story I'll send it your way. But now that's settling down and I'm still feeling strangely unsettled. I think part of it is that feeling of knowing that we are done. You would think that it is the best news ever, and in many ways it is, but it's also kind of foreign to be to be all done with our journey. What do we have to look forward to now? What's next? We've been looking ahead for years and now we're here. It's the beginning of a new phase of life! We have the big decision of where to live looming over us as we will need to buy a house in the next year or two. I feel a lot of pressure to do the right thing, both financially in terms of how much to spend and then what type of house and will be best for our family.

Let's talk about money. I know it is not appropriate to talk about in every day circles but you are like a mom so I can talk to you about this.. It is super strange to be in a position of making money. It makes me really uncomfortable that people think I have lots of money. Everyone assumes that we have enough money to do whatever we want and say stuff like, "oh, you can afford that?" and "you'll never have to worry about that?" (such as buying a big house, furniture, vacations, getting a maid to clean for us, etc.) While Dave has a great job and salary I still feel a lot of stress to be frugal to pay down our loans debt and save for a house, retirement, kids college and whatever major expenses for Calvin will come. It is an uphill battle starting to earn money at almost 37 years old and living in one of the most high cost of living cities in the US.

Also, I have reached this stage where I am having a bit of an identity crisis. Most of my hobbies I gave up in this residency/having kids journey and now I'm wondering what to add back and if it's worth adding anything. I am plenty busy without extras but on the other hand I have always enjoyed my hobbies (teaching, soccer, music) because it gives me a little identity outside mothering and that has been a welcome break at times. The thought of trying to add something stresses me out so for now I'm just sitting tight. Perhaps in the future I'll feel the desire to add more but for now I'm still trying to figure out how to juggle what I have going on!

I feel like I have been whining a lot but this has sort of turned into a journal entry. Life is good!

15908 Lime Grove Rd. - This house deserves it's own entry. It has a life of it's own! That's the problem with big houses. While part of the moving in and getting settled has been a big pain, it is also kind of fun to get re settled. I got a few rugs, painted a couple of rooms and with the cleanup got new carpet. I bought a used leather sectional for the TV room and we love it. It reclines in 3 places which the kids think is great and I love the cozy feeling of a sectional. Dad won't let us pay rent to him but instead we are putting that money into the house to get it ready to sell. Some months we spend the money on the house directly, other months I'm sure we'll just save it and set it aside for the very end when we'll need to do interior and exterior paint, etc when we move out.

Future plans - we are going to Columbus in Nov to a football game with our med school friends. Super exciting. Dad is watching Calvin, we'll pay a babysitter to watch the girls.

Meyer - has doubled in size sine we got him. He's about 43 lbs. He is definitely doing better but he's still a puppy! he loves to chew up stuff -- crayons and socks and trash are his favorites. He is crate trained so I keep him in his crate when I'm not home, at night or any other time I can't watch him. We love our walks and dog beach. I think he is going to be a very good dog when puppy hood is over. He is very calm and sweet. (calmer than tressel was for sure)

Love you lots! Denise