"butt massage"

Today I had my third colonoscopy.  I had one about 4.5 years ago and since dave was too busy to come pick me up I had asked Kathy Konold to drive me.  The drugs they give you make you loopy and forgetful. The evening of the test, after resting I called Kathy to see if I had said or done anything inappropriate and also told her I had no memory of getting dressed! She teased me afterwards that she had to dress me, but joked that she was pretty much on her way to Alzheimer’s and not to worry!   I didn’t realize she was joking until years later, I thought she really had to dress me. After such an unfortunate misunderstanding I told Dave he had to take the day off to help me out. So, today after rounding on patients Dave drove me to the surgery center in RB and then came back to pick me up.

Now, backing up a day or two….. The prep started yesterday. The day before the test you are on a clear liquid diet. This means: jello, juice, clear soda, broth but nothing red or purple. It is pretty gross. I think it’s easier just to fast than eat this stuff, but you have to eat something or else you will get super dehydrated.  At 6pm you have to drink the prep. It tastes terrible. It is so hard to get down. Then you drink a bunch of water and sit down on the toilet for a couple of hours…  The new prep also has you drink more solution in the morning at 5am so I spent the morning in the bathroom watching Mrs. Potter and drinking yucky stuff.  Lexey was the first one awake today and came and sat with me for a while. She was very sweet and concerned for me. She is such a dear.

Fast forward to after the exam. Dave picked me up.  I have very few hazy memories from the time I layed down for the exam and the nurse gave me a potion of meds in my IV to when I woke up from my nap (when Dave called to tell me he was going back to work and leaving Clare stranded at piano where he had just dropped her off)!

When Dave came to get me they brought him to my recovery room.  I was trying to fill out some paperwork but having trouble. It was a customer satisfaction card. Everything was illegible.  Where I tried to check the boxes I had scribbled all over the page.  Dave asked if I was ready to go but I said I couldn’t leave ‘til I filled out the papers.  Dave told me I could just finished the papers at home (he was trying to egg me on) but I insisted we had to stay and finish them.  Eventually, I had such a hard time I asked dave he could fill them out for me. But dave really just threw it away without me noticing.

Then Dave asked me if I was awake during the procedure and how I felt and I said “I don’t think I was awake. I think I was sleeping but I did have a dream about having a very nice butt massage.” Dave asked me to repeat it louder and asked if I wanted another butt massage.  (why did I have Dave come?)  

Jo came and sat on my lap and then I asked her to take a nap with me and I asked Dave to take a picture. I have no memory of this at all!  Dave took one of us resting and then told me to open my eyes.

(when I saw this picture tonight I was surprised at how decent I look. Dave said he thought I look good too and figures it is because I am drugged up and have no worries.  Wouldn't it be nice to have a little valium all the time! )

The Dr. had already come and talked to me before dave got there. Why would a dr. come talk to me when I have no memory?  He stopped by again after Dave was there to talk to him and says I need to come back in about 4 years to do it again because of the strong family history.

Then we were free to go.  I dressed my self.  The nurse insisted that I get pushed to the car in a wheelchair.

Dave took these pics for Lexey who really wanted to see me in a wheel chair

On the way home we went out to breakfast at The Original Pancake House. I remember that  a little bit. Jo fussed and didn’t eat anything except syrup. I ate my favorite meal California Benny.  Then I went home to nap.  Jo napped too. I got to sleep from about 1-2:30 when Dave got called back to work.

How ironic is it that on the day when I'm all drugged up and not supposed to drive or make important decisions, our lease for Houston comes by email?!  Dave also proposed to me under these same circumstances (after wisdom teeth removal) and that seemed to work okay so I guess we'll keep moving forward with Houston plans!